Today's Actual Conversation: Well Played, Mom

Bless her, sometimes she plays along. And the results? COMEDY!

Mom: Can you believe the process it takes to get a freaking box of Sudafed? I had to show my driver's licence!

Me: *withering stare*

Mom: What?

Me: You know, Mom, the cops are only going to give you so many chances.

Mom: What are you talking about?

Me: I've told you a thousand times to move it. Someday you're going to get sloppy and blow up the whole damn house.

Mom: I have no idea what you are talking about.

Me: Stop the denial, Mom. Everyone knows. And using your own product? I can't condone that. You've got a real problem. And I can't bail you out this time.

Mom: Are you running a fever?

Me: Let's focus on you, Mom. I'm only going to say this one more time. Move the meth lab. Seriously. Move it today.

Mom: *small, wounded voice* But...that's how I make my money!