Things I've Learned From TV This Week

It's May sweeps, and I am television's bitch. Let's run down all we've learned so far.

Don't ever take flu medication and get into a bus crash.

Fatties are beautiful, and Top Model is still rigged.

Little children are evil.

I hate Meredith Gray and her stupid, whiny, squinty face.

America loves the song stylings of an abused pre-adolescent and a gigantically cranium-ed bartender.

Barney Stinson is the most legend-wait for it-dary character on television.

Michael Scott often makes me sad.